KING DORK by Frank Portman
Category: Contemporary
Age Recommendation: Grades 9+
Release Date: 4/11/06
Publisher: Delacorte
Reviewed by: Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius"
Rating: 5 Stars
Right after I finished KING DORK, the debut novel from author Frank Portman, I sat down to write my review--and
stared at my computer for fifteen very long minutes wondering exactly how to explain this book. KING DORK will do that
to you--leave you speechless, not quite sure of how to put what you feel into words. I guess if I could only use two words
to describe this book, I would choose "wonderfully odd." If Tom Henderson (aka King Dork) had to describe it, it would
probably go something like this...
"It's actually kind of a complicated story, involving at least half a dozen mysteries, plus dead people, naked people,
fake people, teen sex, weird sex, drugs, ESP, Satanism, books, blood, Bubblegum, guitars, monks, faith, love,
witchcraft, the Bible, girls, a war, a secret code, a head injury, the Crusades, some crimes, mispronunciation skills,
a mystery woman, a devil-head, a blow job, and rock and roll."
And that, ladies and gentleman, pretty much sums it up. "And I'm not even exaggerating all that much. I swear to God."
If I met Tom Henderson in real life, and had a one-minute conversation with him, I would undoubtedly wonder 1) what the
hell this guy was talking about, or 2) what the hell I was talking about when talking to him.
Yes, it's that kind of a book. A story that starts with the simple task of Tom trying to find any old copy of THE CATCHER
IN THE RYE and instead finding a marked-up, footnoted, annotated, high-lighted version his dead father once owned. It
all goes downhill--or over the proverbial edge--from there.
I've decided that there's simply no other way to accurately describe this book. I can't give you a plot outline without giving
away the entire story, so you'll simply have to pick up a copy of KING DORK for yourself. I guarantee you won't be
disappointed, and I can also guarantee that you'll never find better band names than Baby Batter, Ray Bradbury's
Love-Camel, The Mordor Apes, or We Have Eaten All the Cake. Just as you'll never find a better one-liner than "Talk
Won Ton to Me, You Crazy Asian Superstar."
And that's all I've got to say about that.
King Dork
by Frank Portman