KING DORK by Frank Portman
    Category:  Contemporary
    Age Recommendation:  Grades 9+
    Release Date:  4/11/06
    Publisher:  Delacorte
    Reviewed by:  Jennifer Wardrip, aka "The Genius"
    Rating:  5 Stars


    Right after I finished KING DORK, the debut novel from author Frank Portman, I sat down to write my review--
    and stared at my computer for fifteen very long minutes wondering exactly how to explain this book.  KING DORK
    will do that to you--leave you speechless, not quite sure of how to put what you feel into words.  I guess if I could
    only use two words to describe this book, I would choose "wonderfully odd."  If Tom Henderson (aka King Dork)
    had to describe it, it would probably go something like this...

    "It's actually kind of a complicated story, involving at least half a dozen mysteries, plus dead people, naked
    people, fake people, teen sex, weird sex, drugs, ESP, Satanism, books, blood, Bubblegum, guitars, monks,
    faith, love, witchcraft, the Bible, girls, a war, a secret code, a head injury, the Crusades, some crimes,
    mispronunciation skills, a mystery woman, a devil-head, a blow job, and rock and roll."

    And that, ladies and gentleman, pretty much sums it up.  "And I'm not even exaggerating all that much.  I swear to
    God."

    If I met Tom Henderson in real life, and had a one-minute conversation with him, I would undoubtedly wonder 1)
    what the hell this guy was talking about, or 2) what the hell I was talking about when talking to him.

    Yes, it's that kind of a book.  A story that starts with the simple task of Tom trying to find any old copy of THE
    CATCHER IN THE RYE and  instead finding a marked-up, footnoted, annotated, high-lighted version his dead
    father once owned.  It all goes downhill--or over the proverbial edge--from there.

    I've decided that there's simply no other way to accurately describe this book.  I can't give you a plot outline without
    giving away the entire story, so you'll simply have to pick up a copy of KING DORK for yourself.  I guarantee you
    won't be disappointed, and I can also guarantee that you'll never find better band names than Baby Batter, Ray
    Bradbury's Love-Camel, The Mordor Apes, or We Have Eaten All the Cake.  Just as you'll never find a better one-
    liner than "Talk Won Ton to Me, You Crazy Asian Superstar."

    And that's all I've got to say about that.
King Dork
by Frank Portman